Self talk – the act or practice of talking to oneself, either aloud or silently and mentally

Being aware of Self Talk

Recently I have been aware of the self talk of two separate individuals new to my life. One is a lady in my bead group the other a gentleman in a workplace I visit. Both are wise in years, have positions of note and are well educated in numerous ways.

I have become aware of how they speak to themselves whilst doing tasks. When making a mistake of some sort, I hear them say things like

  • silly girl
  • oh you are so stupid
  • that was a stupid thing to do
  • you are hopeless
  • use your brain

Their tone of voice is quite normal and I really don’t think they are aware of their self talk or the damage they are doing to themselves. Quite likely their subconscious is repeating words that have been said to them in the past, maybe as children.

self talk

Changing self talk

Self talk isn’t necessary but we all find we talk to ourselves, either mentally or aloud. I know when doing tasks I read something aloud to remember what to do.

Firstly you need to be aware of your own self talk. What do you say to yourself?

Next take the opportunity to say something more positive. So when making a mistake instead of saying “that was a stupid thing to do” use something more positive like

  • that’s why I need to read the instructions
  • maybe I need to take it slower
  • I need to focus more closely
  • maybe I need food, drink or a break

And if you self talk make sure you also praise yourself

  • oh well done
  • see you can do it
  • that worked well

So what next – when you become aware of your self talk you become aware of how you talk to others and how they talk to you. You can then take the opportunity to think before you speak. To find something constructive to say. Praise others, especially when you know they have struggled. Ultimately you will find you respond to others rather than react to what is said.

So tell me – Have you become aware of the self talk of someone around you? How have you been able to help them turn it into positive words?

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